Excuse me while I VENT.....

I'm not sure when society decided it was o.k. for people to make every pregnant women their constant business. I've been thinking lately and have this to say:

1) Ladies (and a pregnant friend tells me she gets this from men as well), NO, you may not rub or pat or touch my belly. If I was not pregnant you would not say, "Can I rub your stomach? I find it so fascinating!".
2) NO, I do not necessarily care that I'm not really eating for two. I'm hungry, back off. If I get fat and can't lose the weight, then that's my own darn problem.
3) I have not had any influence in your "baby dreams". I barely know you. We just see each other at work, briefly once or twice a week. I'm sorry you are dreaming about being pregnant at 50.
4) QUIT watching what I eat. I do not think about the "red dye" in the licorice, or the "trans fat" that is in this tiny bag of popcorn. 20 years ago women did not eat all organic food while pregnant and we turned out just fine. Yes, I eat 3 oranges, 1 apple, and a banana each day, I also eat only whole wheat bread....you satisfied?
5) No, you cannot wave a paperclip over my belly or ask me to pee in some sort of cleaning product. No, you cannot tell if I am having a boy or a girl by how much fat I have on my lower back, and for gods sake, NO, you can not pinch it to see. I will simply ask the doctor on my next ultra sound. That will suit me just fine. Thank you.
6) I realize that I am huge and "just can't possibly be only 18 weeks along", but I am. Please quit reminding me of that.
7) I have a 3 year old daughter at home who refers to me as MAMA. This right is reserved for her. Not you. Please quit calling me that as though it's a fun nick name we came up together.

I could go on, but I'm sure I'm boring you.......

My friend Kim told me the other day that I'm not a happy pregnant gal. You know, it's not that I really hate being pregnant, it's just that I'm generally miserable during my pregnancies because of sore feet, back and being sick, etc.....why such a wonderful thing has to be so darn miserable......it's a mystery.

To all of my friends and family who just read this. Thank you. I feel better. All I needed was to vent. I appreciate your listening. Until next time, so long.