First Day of Kindergarten!

Ohhhh, we were so excited. She was also pretty scared, but you wouldn't have known it. Our conversation on our way to school went like this.....

Mom: "I can't believe my little girl is going to Kindergarten!"

Emi: "Moooommmm, I'd prefer you call me a big girl now, I'm not little anymore. I'm five and in Kindergarten."

Mom: "Ok, well fine then, I can't believe my big girl is going to Kindergarten. And, Emi, by the way, you will always be my little girl."

Emi: "Moooooommmmm............"

Mom: "I love you."

Emi: "I love you too."

Full day, from 8:00-2:15 every day. Lunch decisions? To take or to buy hot lunch? A huge backpack, P.E. class, Music class, learning to read and write. I think it's been a little much for her. For crimany sakes, she's only 5. It'll be a while before she's used to it. 7:00pm bedtime? Absolutely not a problem anymore, she's practically begging to go to bed by then. She's seems to be loving it though. She gets up and gets going. She is excited every day.

It's crazy, you know? For me. It's hard not to have her here during the day. Sure, I have Elise, Mollie & Marisah to keep me busy. But, it's not the same without Emi. It's quiet during nap times. It's even kind of lonely. You know what the hardest part is? Giving up control. I have no idea what is going on from the hours of 8:00 and 2:15. Sure, I can ask her, but the details are sketchy. I'm not even sure she really remembers what she did from Noon-2:15, let alone all day. She comes home with new songs, new stories. She says she doesn't have any friends, that she plays alone on the playground. Maybe this is normal for a 5 year old, when she's only been in school for 4 days. I don't know. I miss my old Milwaukie Lutheran Pre-school families. Back then we walked our kids in to the classroom, we watched our kids interact, we chit chated with other mom's and dad's about this and that. There was only a couple families I didn't know well enough to take Emi home for a play date. It's just different now. I drop her off and watch her run in to the building. Going off to find her own way to her new classroom with her new classmates. Classmates who I don't know, who have parents I don't know. It's so surreal really. To imagine that I've given up that certain control. That certain comfort level. I just miss her.

I think I'm the one having a hard time adjusting.